The twigs snapped against my heels. The wind howled and Janie turned against it, in defeat.
“I wanna go home.” Her lips turned in a quivering scowl, but her words blew away with the wind. I swallowed, and it hurt like swallowing knifes.
“We will.” I whispered, even though that couldn’t possibly be true. Janie turned away from me, and kept walking. Leaves squished under her soggy Converse sneakers and her knees buckled together to keep herself warm.
Out of the corner of my eye, a blinding white light hit my peripheral vision. I winced. It was a flashlight.
“Janie? Tracey? Dave? Call out if you can hear me! Call!” I heard a saddened voice, that sounded like Maria’s.
Janie started to scream out in response, but Dave covered her mouth with his dirty hand. Janie squirmed, struggling to be released from Dave’s grasp.
“Shh!” Dave hushed.
“Janie? Tracey? Dave? Call out if you can hear me!” Maria’s voice sounded more distant now. Tears blinded my eyes. Chance. The chance to go home, and we couldn’t have it.
We stood still, listening to Maria’s cries, until we couldn’t hear them anymore at all.
Janie hit the ground and began to howl. Again, Dave covered her mouth. Janie wailed, her sobs cut off from the rest of the world.
I sat down in the wet soil. I felt the earth, and I plunged my hands into it, looking at the color of the sky, which matched the concrete back in the city.
“Home.” I whispered.
ONE MONTH EARLIER
I didn’t understand how the sun could still shine. How the birds could still sing. How the day could go by, despite all the things that had happened.
I looked out my window. Janie and Maria were dancing on the dew covered grass, the sprinkler flying madly around.
I didn’t understand how summer could still be summer. How Janie and Maria could dance in the grass.
How could anything, ever be the same?
My heart ached, like a scar still healing.
I sat still in my bedroom, missing my brother Dave more than ever.
Why did they have to take him away? He was fine, just where he was. He wasn’t getting in too much trouble at the new school.
Mom said that Dave was different than most kids, and needed special attention.
How was Dave different? That’s what I wanted to know.
“Tracey! Will you come out and play with us?” I heard Janie’s voice from downstairs.
“Maybe in a little while.” I yelled back. I heard the front door creak open, and slam shut. When I looked out my window, Maria and Janie were still playing.
I looked at the photograph sitting on my desk. It’s a picture of our whole family last summer. Mom is standing in the middle, because she’s shorter than everyone except for Janie and me. Janie is on one side of her striking a pose, and I’m on her other side, smiling shyly. Shannon is just above Mom (since, although she’s the oldest, is even shorter than Mom) and smiling big. Shannon, Mom, and Janie are alike in that respect. They’re always so….happy and jolly. Maria is on Shannon’s left, her hair pulled into two tight braids. Maria is more like Dave and I, more shy and quiet. Dave is on Shannon’s other side, not smiling at all.
While other people seemed to think that it was odd that Dave didn’t smile, I thought it was just a boy thing.
And then Dad.
He’s almost as tall as the trees surrounding in the background. He smiles a thin-lipped smile, his big hands firmly placed on Shannon’s shoulders.
My heart itched for Dad. He had to go away with Dave.
Mom accused me of being a martyer about the whole thing. She was constantly telling me that, ‘everyone misses Dad and Dave, not just you. It’s not all about you, Tracey.’
I didn’t understand. It wasn’t about me. I KNOW Dave didn’t want to leave, and I’m sure Dad didn’t either.
I always tried to squeeze the real reason of why Dad and Dave left out of Mom, but she never told me.
It had been almost a month now.
The world had moved on, and left me sitting alone in my bedroom. The world was done feeling sorry.
But I wasn’t.
I wasn’t really asking for editing, like puncuation….

“Devin, honey, wake up!” called the deep booming voice of Cal Morning. I sat up in my bed and looked around. The sun was shining outside the window and I could hear the faint sounds of baby birds. I pushed myself of my bed and onto the floor. I stood there for a second expecting to hear the chiming sound of my mom laughing or the echo of playful banter as my dad fought with her over who would cook the eggs.
“You always make pancake eggs!” she would argue.
“Well then you make them.” My dad always said before kissing her lightly on the forehead and walking to the table to read the morning paper.
But there were no noises of banter and play. It was silent.
“Coming!” I yelled back to my dad, and shuffled down the stairs to met him and the feast he always called breakfast.
“Hey there kiddo.” He said before dumping a load of bacon on a tray, “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Okay I guess, I am still sorta tired.” I said punctuating it with a huge yawn.

[ This is the Summary -
Raven Lilith Santoro isn't just your average 17 year old girl. Her mother was an angel named Dina, her father a demon, named Demetri. Their races we're enimies, and they're love was forbidden, but that still didn't stop them. They we're inlove and they we're determined to be together no matter what the cost. So, they staged a death for themselves, and run off to be together. That was when Dina became pregnant, and soon gave birth to the most beautiful babygirl in the world. Raven was always a happy spirited, stubborn little girl, she was so unique, and the couple loved her with everything in them, but on Ravens 4th birthday, their perfect life took a brutal twist.

Raven is the first ever of her kind [ half demon , half angel ], and is constantly on the run from Alaster Ward, the Lord of Immortals, because he wants to put her in the institute for observation, then he wants her killed. He is constantly sending Undead Warriors after her. She also is the vampire hunter that all vampires are terrified of, she kills them whenever she spots them, because it was Vampires that killed her parents when she was only 4 years old. Her life is a never ending nightmare, and she will soon realize that she is unique in more ways than just one when she starts discovering her uncontrolable, hidden powers.. ]

I know its not perfect, any suggestions on anything would be helpful! Thanks (:

The name of this story is “Confined”

I believe anyone can say that they would hate to wake up to lonely concrete walls, and an exceedingly uncertain future. It seems peculiar how so many choose that path despite the harsh consequences. And in all of that strange logic, I had been sandwiched in the middle of it for most of my life. Although, I suppose for all those frightful years, I was in a much better position than most. I had a motive almost no one there had, and that was love.

That devoted presence I provided, must have been quite helpful to him, Eldon Bryce; a man convicted of murdering a twenty-six year old girl named Jessica Gorton. The jury was exceedingly confident that the data unmistakably pointed to Eldon. Little did they know, I was with Eldon that dark, misty day when Jessica passed away, and all night we were celebrating Eldon’s new profession as a chef. Naturally, there was no evidence that that had truly occurred, as it was just us two that night. And unfortunately, no human back then could understand my barking.

In spite of the fact that Eldon had the best lawyer in all of New York, he was pronounced guilty one summer day in August. From then on, I had awful nightmares that haunted me even after I woke up. That was because I knew what my owner’s fate would be. And I certainly knew mine. Revisiting the adoption center was the least of my worries. I was far more concerned with leaving him; Eldon.

Normally, a street dog like me at the start of my life would never get too attached to humans. That was because the elders in my family had heard tales of horrific cruelty and desertion. Obviously, they were inclined to share them to warn the other dogs. True, some humans were better than others. But as my mother instructed me,

“In the end, they’re all humans, dear. To hurt another living being in such a way is an inexcusable offense,” she would say. “It’s best to stay away from humans all together, to prevent something atrocious.”

I respected my mother, and took what she told me in consideration for an awfully long time. Nevertheless, I didn’t completely give up on humans. I watched their docile and also aggressive actions vigilantly. Never approaching them, but also never straying too far.

And then there was one day in the frigid winter, when I met a young boy. He was wearing a giant, navy winter jacket and coffee brown slacks. Back then I was just a puppy, and it was the first time I had ever seen such a gentle person. Not only did he feed the birds, he also fed the occasional cat that passed by. Sure, I had seen this behavior before, but this boy was unique. He was genuinely kind to the animals. I gazed at him as he giggled and smiled while he lightly stroked the cats and fed the birds the finest parts of his meal.

“Will I get some too if I go over there?” I thought curiously. When you’re a street dog, food is the greatest treasure. I can still recall my family coaching me on how to turn over trash cans and trap rodents. It absolutely was not the idyllic meal for a dog, but whatever kept us alive was good enough.

Daringly, I began to leisurely draw near the boy from the raspberry bushes beside him. I wasn’t certain what he would do to me, and I wasn’t too concerned. The food was the prize.
At first he didn’t notice me. I had to warily walk in front of him. Though, I never took my eyes of the sandwich, which was dripping with maroon jelly.

“Hey…” The boy softly whispered to me. Abruptly I saw his arm out in front of me, his long fingers extended. Whimpering, I shuffled back, prepared to take off if necessary. “It’s alright. I won’t hurt you.” He said. I let him touch my head, but my nerves ultimately got the best of me and I darted back into the bush.

The day passed and morning came. The boy came back and sat on the wooden bench where he had before. I retreated from the bush once again and managed to get close to him. I hadn’t eaten in quite a while, so I was rather desperate. I allowed the boy stroke my head, neck, back, and tail. Finally, a piece of sandwich was placed in front of me. I dug in without much thought.

“Wow, you’re hungry.” The boy chuckled and patted my head. “How would you like to come home with me? I promise you can eat all the food you want.”

And so, I sadly said farewell to my family. However, I did not tell anyone where I was truly going. I feared that my family would have felt tremendous betrayal if I told them the truth.

In the first couple days with my new owner, I discovered the significance of friendship, respect, patience, and how much my family was missing out on. I also learned that just because there are some unlucky dogs i
sorry here is the rest:

In the first couple days with my new owner, I discovered the significance of friendship, respect, patience, and how much my family was missing out on. I also learned that just because there are some unlucky dogs in the world, does not mean every dog has to have a cruel fate. Additionally, I learned the name of my owner: Eldon Bryce.

Seven years later, one day after Eldon’s trial, I was flabbergasted to learn the new turn of events. For the first time in history, I would be permitted to spend the rest of my life with Eldon Bryce in his jail cell. Some might say it was a miracle, but others could easily argue it was a great misfortune. I certainly would never see a dog toy or a biscuit again, for my entire life. I knew that. But I felt like I needed to return my favor to Eldon; the boy, who saved me from the streets, let me ride in the back seat of his car, took me for walks, and flat out loved me. To me he was everything; a savior of sorts. I owed my
To me he was everything; a savior of sorts. I owed my company to him.
Eight years later, on a frosty day in fall, Eldon Bryce died from a seizure. That was my last day in the jail cell. Perhaps, an uncertain future is the fate of a dog like me. But I definitely won’t ever regret confronting Eldon Bryce. Even if meeting him meant spending a large portion of my life confined, I cherished every minute I spent with him.

(The War came suddenly, and ended with complete devastation. The fires ripped across the face of the earth with no regard for what they ravaged. Nations fell, one after the other, until none were left but wanderers, nomads forced to endure the bitter, pitiless wild for survival. The once-great planet became a weak, ghostly shadow of the advanced civilization it had once been. Where there once was rain, now ash drifted from the sky to settle on the last remaining vestiges of mighty empires. The War destroyed our world.)

The gravel crunched beneath my boots as I walked across the desolate field. The remains of various vehicles littered the ground around me, and dirt swirled up into the air in a gust of wind, sending old papers scurrying across the cracked and sunbleached pavement. Glass from the shattered windows of the buildings around me glittered in the light of the setting sun, and the skeletal frames of those same buildings rose thousands of feet above me, stretching towards the sky like the fingers of an emaciated giant. A flicker of movement caught my eye. To my right, a small fire burned inside a building, somewhere where it could not have started by itself – this area was inhabited. Drawing my blaster from its holster on my right hip, I flattened my back against the nearest wall, weapon out, and peered around the corner. Breathless with apprehension, I scanned the interior of the ground floor. Though I saw no one, I did not let my guard down – whoever was here would not be if they did not know how to defend themselves. The silence pressed against my eardrums as I listened for any sound that could give away their position. Above me, a startled bird burst from an upper floor with a loud cry, and I let out a gasp. My cover blown, I ran down the alley as bullets began to rain down. As I searched my surroundings for something to serve as a shield, a small part of my mind noted that whoever inhabited the building had been there a long time – bullets were primitive. Ducking behind a concrete embankment, I quickly ripped a shred of white fabric from my plastic-fiber undershirt and thrust it up into the air with one hand. If my attacker was using bullets, there was a very good chance they would understand the meaning of my white “flag”. The fire storm ceased and, fighting my own survival instincts, I slowly rose from my place of concealment with my hands behind my head and my blaster securely in its holster. Muscles tensed with anticipation and fear, I waited for the response to my obvious surrender – and I would have to wait those few more impossible seconds to discover whether that response would mean my death.

*note: the part in parenthesis was supposed to be in italics nut Y!A wouldn’t let me.

Really I only have one big one right now here goes:
P.S. You may need to have some knowledge of the setting the book takes place in to understand the feel better.

The setting is around chernobyl, by that I mean pretty close but not necissarily right next to the power plant that exploded. For those that don’t know this is a real place in the world and in 1986 a reactor in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant had a melt down throwing radiation around the area, making it essentially a ghost town.

Okay now the actual story.
It focuses on a female girl, who has lost most of her family as far as she knows. It starts with her survival in chernobyl, dealing with radiation and such, and goes on to show the environment and the people throughout the story.
At the beginning she remembers a name, but doesn’t know why.
Later she finds the person whose name she remembered, and I’m not entirely set in stone with the details, but somehow the sarcophagus ( a concrete structure used to contain the excess radiation of the nuclear reactors debris) gets destroyed sending nuclear radiation into the air and further poisoning chernobyl and the areas around it.

I’m not sure what the story focus’s on or it’s main theme… perhaps a romance novel set in a tragic area, or something like that I don;t know what kind of genre it is….more like a type of biography like To Kill a Mocking Bird was in a way… but anyway

NO THERE WILL NOT BE ANY “MUTANTS” in this book, I decided to keep it pretty realistic and I may have some deformed humans and the like but no blind dogs, or mutated superhumans that look like monsters and can see in the dark.

The only far-fetched thing will be the sarcophagus getting destroyed and the like and I may exagerate on parts like how much radiation is thrown into the air from it’s destruction but that’s just for the story to make it interesting… or I may decide to not even make it huge.
You get the idea right.

So interesting… would you read it or consider it?

And it’s not like a biography/documentary It’s a fictitous story with plenty of “action” action meaning not just explanations of stuff, more “drama” and stuff. Sorry I’m not good with words at 10:00 at night.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

thanks guys, and I’m trying to shoot for a very descriptive type of narration through first person, and perhaps sometimes switch characters to get a new perspective, but mostly It won’t focus too heavily on any real action, it’s mostly about… well I don’t exaclty know, I need to plan it out more, but trust me, it won’t have mutants or gunfights (maybe some shooting, but not like gunfights with aks and stuff)

I really want to kind of give a nice point of view through the main character, decribe what she see’f feels, etc, and I’ll also have some other elements like peoms, to better give a sense of “being there”
p.s.

I will probably add some of you as contacts if you really want me to send you some of the book as it gets done.