I wanted to write a poem about spring?
July 4, 2010 by
Filed under Concrete Bird Baths
This is what I started with-
(I opened the front door stepped outside onto the warm concrete.
I stopped, looked around , and listened
I could see children playing hop scotch,
I could hear birds chirping
When I sniffed the air,
I could smell the aroma of a fresh rain storm that had just ended last night)
I don’t know what to write after that. Any sugestions. (I will NOT take credit for other people’s work.) I just want some tips please.
if I were to edit this… I might change a few things… play around with how it sounds if you read it out loud. See if it sounds like it flows… or is too wordy.
I was once advised by a very intelligent young man *this kid skipped all middle school and was advanced into hs at a very young age, and ended up taking AP classes; but anyyyyyway…. * He told me it’s sometimes (keep in mind….I do this only sometimes…like I said. Play around with it and see how you like how it sounds out loud. You’d be surprised what you can do with a poem if you read it out loud, and change things that way…)better to cut out (“I”, the (when possible), and….)and see how it comes out.
-instead of pointing out which one of your senses (sight, smell, taste, hear, touch)you are experiencing at that moment, try to describe it as vividly as possible. Like a movie in your mind that you want the reader/listener to experience with you. (what does the rain smell like… is it pleasant? perfume like? or does it make your nose itch and you want to sneeze? Make it so the reader/listener feel what you are feeling at that moment with you.)
“The air: a lingering aroma of last night’s storm, (use descriptive words for the scent of the air here for ex:Exotic, Beautiful, pleasant, Fragrant and fresh are my favorite so I use those in my line…)fragrant and fresh”
so the line would go as follows:
“The air: a lingering aroma of last night’s storm
Fragrant and fresh.”
- are your feet bare, are they in shoes? if your feet are bare, step onto wet grass, describe how the contrast between the cool grass and the warm concrete?
-play around with your “phrasing”
-keep in mind where you might take a breath… that can affect the flow of your poem when reading
if it were me, I’d break up that first line into two…..
I Opened front door;
Stepped outside onto (the) warm concrete.
see how it sounds verses the other phrasing. you might be delighted by how different it sounds.
Good luck. Feel free to ask if you want any more tips 
. I am an avid poetry writer… took several classes in college though I’m a tad rusty. I also hope to someday put together a book of my poetry. 
I have a bunch of books that I love looking at for advice on how to write better… writing exercises… you could even find a ton of them online. 
Go for it. Try your best! and like they say, Practice, Practice, Practice! (there’s no such thing as perfection) Just keep on writing! 